Kaleidoscope Mind

 FROM ARCH HADES TO ME, MYSELF, AND I

 

“If they want you, they’ll make you feel wanted”

 

“If they were sure about you, you would know”

 

“No amount of your empathy and compassion will make them treat you better. They either want to, or they don’t”

 

“Sometimes temporary people teach you permanent lessons”

 

“Silence is the best reply to someone who doesn’t listen to you anyway”

 

Poetry by Arch Hades.

 

Roses are red

December 10, 2020

 

TELL NO ONE

 

-          Why didn’t you tell anyone?

-          No one asked.

 

Like a double edged sword, our greatest strengths are often also our greatest weakness.

For me, that has always been caring too much and feeling too intensely. It’s allowed me to understand and deeply connect to people, but has also been the cause of a lot of heartache.

I absolutely know, for everything there is a price.

 

Sometimes I regret being nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and for making unworthy people a priority in my life.

 

I can slowly see people surround me forgetting about me in front of my eyes and it hurts more than anything.

 

Funny how I care for everyone, but not even a single soul care for me.

 

But when they ask me to tell and show my feeling and my story, they don’t listen to me too.

Like,

-          Can you tell that again? Sorry I wasn’t listening.

-          Mmm, okay.

 

Some people don’t care as much as they should.

And others care too much, to the point of obsession.

 

End.

 

By the way, i think there's no one visiting my blog too

But if there is somebody read this post and visit my blog, i thank you so much.

Because I care too much to everyone, lemme ask you a question,

How’s life?

I hope you have a nice day : )

 

xxrosesarered

October 20, 2020

 

 lʌv

A question to ask yourself when you wake up:

“Who deserves a good morning from you today?”

 

How do you fall in love?

Slowly.

Rationally.

And then all at once.

What does heartbreak feel like?

Like looking around a room and seeing no familiar faces.

Like blue rain pattering on the rooftop.

Like sad songs that aren’t sad enough.

Like winter nights – long and unforgiving.

 

Habits of a love-giver

Accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you.

Say please and thank you.

Love without asking for anything in return.

Set a regular get together with your loved ones.

Be the first to forgive.

Give your loved ones a call to ask them how they’re doing.

 

She exists outside of his universe

He offered her the world.

She said she had her own.

 

A question to ask yourself before you sleep:

“Did you feel loved today?”

 

Adapted from Dear Tomorrow by Maudy Ayunda.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Maudy Ayunda.

 OLDER

 

The older I get,

the more I realize the value of privacy, cultivating your circle, and only letting certain people in.

You can be open, honest, and real while still understanding not everyone deserves a seat at the table of your life. I want peace more than attention.

 

The older I get,

the more I realize I don’t want to be around drama, conflict, or stress.

I want a cozy home, good food, and to be surrounded by happy people.

 

The older I get,

the more I realize that the things that cost nothing, hold the most value.

 

The older I get,

the more I realize the importance of walking away from people and situations which threaten my peace, self-respect, values, and self-worth.

 

The older I get,

the more I realize I just need the simple things in life.

 

The older I get,

the more I realize that some situations do not need my reaction.

 

The older I get,

the more I enjoy going into deep reflections, and it is in that space that I get to understand the true meaning of life.

 

The older I get,

the more I value my own space, alone in solitude and quietness, and it is in that space that I get to find my purpose in life.

 

The older I get,

the more I realize that it isn’t about the material things, or pride or ego. It’s about our hearts and who they beat for.

 

The older I get,

the more I realize that kindness is synonymous with happiness.

Quotes adapted from various sources.

2020 HOW’S YOUR LIFE?

How’s your 2020 going so far?

Is it good? Pretty good? Good enough? or not?

I hope you’re doing well.

O here I am, still surviving this year.

 

Setahun lebih gue nggak post apapun di blog ini.

Well, lemme tell you my stories selama 8 bulan di tahun 2020 ini:

 

Januari, seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya, menganggap Januari sebagai trial month pas masuk tahun baru yak an, jadi selo-selo aja hidupnya masih belom pusing kepikiran apa-apa.

 

Februari, udah balik ngerantau, udah menyiapkan segala macam bekal, khususnya karena merasa bulan Januari kemaren masih main-main aja dan tidak serius mengarungi kehidupan.

 

Maret, siapa sangka ya kan yang katanya libur 2 minggu malah kebablasan sampe hari ini alias iya kita sedunia lagi diuji karena adanya pandmei ini. With this COVID-19 pandemic, of course our life has changed, a lot. Mau nggak mau kita harus survive. Sempet kepikiran this is the worts year ever, eits tunggu dulu, pasti ada sisi baiknya deh. Gue jadi bisa ngerasain kuliah online, lebih lama di rumah, dan self discovery tentunya. Gue masih inget terakhir kuliah itu pas kampus gue lagi ultah, gue seangkatan malah lagi rapat buat prepare ke Merbabu tapi tidak jadi guys karena kami pun ujung-ujungnya praktikum sendiri di rumah :)

 

Mei, untuk pertama kalinya gue lebaran di rumah karena tahun-tahun biasanya gue lebaran di rumah eyang, mau nggak mau harus disyukurin karena masih diberi kesempatan ketemu lebaran tahun 2020.

 

Juni, Oh iya gue KKN Online dan pelaksanaannya di sekitaran rumah aja aka tidak kemana-mana, padahal sebelumnya bayangan gue bakal pergi kemana gitu kan kayak mengabdi gitu di desa orang dan jauh dari rumah plus udah ngebayangin nongkrong alias buat proker bareng temen-temen KKN tapi hal ini tidak pernah terjadi wkwkwk. Tapi ada sisi positifnya juga, dengan KKN di desa sendiri gue jadi lebih kenal sama tetangga yang sebelumnya jarang gue sambangi rumahnya karena gue KKN door-to-door (dengan memerhatikan protokol kesehatan tentunya) dibantu sobat SD gue, Alhamdulillah deh berasa reuni wkwkwk.

 

Juli, gue juli ngapain ya? Oh iya masih berkecimpung dengan per KKN an juga sih dan bantuin  orang tua ngajar online. Bener-bener ya kalo ngajarin orang tua kudu sabar banget dah T.T

 

Agustus, bulan Agustus sampe September gue magang online wkwkwk gue ngajar online, dan setelah ninggalin kost selama 5 bulan akhirnya gue menyambangi kost-an untuk mengambil barang berharga tentunya wkwkwk.

 

Kalo cerita kalian gimana? (Ih gue nggak tau deh ini bakal ada yang baca atau enggak tapi gue pura-pura nanya aja lah ya)

Gue harap kalian masih diberi nikmat sehat. Sehat itu syukur yang paling penting, masih dikasih hidup.

Coba tengok di luar sana, banyak yang tumbang gara-gara COVID-19 atau lainnya.

 

Gue harap juga, sebagai manusia yang berperikemanusiaan dan menghargai orang lain, I just wish people would wear a mask and maintain social distancing protocols. The virus is still spreading. Yap, we’re kinda stuck here, and like everyone, we’d like to get out. But nah, stay safe dan di rumah aja.

 

 

Gue takut dengan kemungkinan terburuk, 2020 sisa 4 bulan lagi.

Gue bertanya-tanya apakah 2020 ini trailernya 2021? We dunno.

Semoga Allah SWT senantiasa memberikan keselamatan buat kita.

Aamiin.

                                                                                                            Kota Lawet, 3 September 2020